An (Americanized) Haiku for Cougars
Bad bank with high fees.
Bad relationship.
Bad, slow hairstylist. Move on.
(No, it's not 5-7-5. It's 5-5-7. I repeat. Move on.)
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Lessons from Wonderland
Some kittens seem to always be in a trap--in the midst of the latest controversy. Sure. Sometimes really bad things happen to really good people but oft times, we invite trouble in before it even knocks. Heck, we text trouble and arrange to meet it after work, occasionally! Don't we?
Take my infamous friend Alice of Wonderland, USA.. It's unanimously agreed her life was a mess of her own choosing. Real quickly, here are three lessons we can learn from her about avoiding "optional" problems.
1. Stay out of dark holes (and dark alleys and dark cars and dark offices.)Seek the light. As I heard Bill Cosby say recently, "If you're not in the picture, you can't be framed."
2. Don't take advice on the direction of your life from cats up a tree, on probation, or in financial ruin unless that's where you want to go.
3. Beware of condescending royal hignesses with overly large heads. If your friend is always compelled to be brutally honest (in their opinion) with you--and they never have anything nice to say--that's not your friend. Friends don't hate on you.
Fact is, what you seek is inside of you, not in the looking glass.
Take my infamous friend Alice of Wonderland, USA.. It's unanimously agreed her life was a mess of her own choosing. Real quickly, here are three lessons we can learn from her about avoiding "optional" problems.
1. Stay out of dark holes (and dark alleys and dark cars and dark offices.)Seek the light. As I heard Bill Cosby say recently, "If you're not in the picture, you can't be framed."
2. Don't take advice on the direction of your life from cats up a tree, on probation, or in financial ruin unless that's where you want to go.
3. Beware of condescending royal hignesses with overly large heads. If your friend is always compelled to be brutally honest (in their opinion) with you--and they never have anything nice to say--that's not your friend. Friends don't hate on you.
Fact is, what you seek is inside of you, not in the looking glass.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Permission Granted
Wow. I've got great news, Cougars! From the one who made everything, from nothing, in no time flat, ahead of schedule, and under budget comes this universal decree:
We have permission to be human.
This is huge. We can make mistakes and not flail ourselves with spike covered guilt. We may fail miserably and not wallow in shame. We can put all of our right foot in our mouth and chew it to shreds before we realize our words are bitter. Not that we want to--but we can--and we will. We may forget something important occasionally like our best friend's 10-year anniversary of sobriety. We don't intend to forget. It's oh so important to her, therefore, it's important to us. But, in the hustle and bustle of life, we may not glance at our reminders until the next day. Guess what? It happens. We can call still call her and it's quite alright. You still reliving that break up? Did you kick Mr. Pretty Close To Right to the curb for a supremely idiotic reason? If he's really the one, you'll be together again and he'll forgive you when you apologize.
So, dahlin' be late. Be impatient. Be imperfect occasionally. You're not a machine. Accept the wrongness of thinking you will always be right. The human body is 60% water. The brain is a startling 70% water. Go with the flow. To err is human. Accept it. Move on.
Live. Learn. Roar!
This is huge. We can make mistakes and not flail ourselves with spike covered guilt. We may fail miserably and not wallow in shame. We can put all of our right foot in our mouth and chew it to shreds before we realize our words are bitter. Not that we want to--but we can--and we will. We may forget something important occasionally like our best friend's 10-year anniversary of sobriety. We don't intend to forget. It's oh so important to her, therefore, it's important to us. But, in the hustle and bustle of life, we may not glance at our reminders until the next day. Guess what? It happens. We can call still call her and it's quite alright. You still reliving that break up? Did you kick Mr. Pretty Close To Right to the curb for a supremely idiotic reason? If he's really the one, you'll be together again and he'll forgive you when you apologize.
So, dahlin' be late. Be impatient. Be imperfect occasionally. You're not a machine. Accept the wrongness of thinking you will always be right. The human body is 60% water. The brain is a startling 70% water. Go with the flow. To err is human. Accept it. Move on.
Live. Learn. Roar!
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Cougarism of The Day
If you can't stand the heat in the kitchen, open a window and keep cooking. You'll get accustomed to it. It's not the room, it's you. No matter where you are, stay focused, stay determined, stay persistent, and never quit stalking abundance! When the fire is inside of you, it's always going to be hot.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
What's Your Excuse?
Don't you just hate excuses? Dictionary.com defines an excuse as a plea for release from an obligation or promise. That's why no one likes them. An excuse means a promise was broken. It means somebody didn't do what they said they would do when they said they would do it and now, a day late, they want to talk about why they didn't do it. Cougars want to hear about the "possibility" of the ball being dropped before the actual event. That way we're prepared for ball droppage and have an alternate plan of action.
For example, I'm carpooling to an event, Shabooboo is driving and we have tickets for a play at 7 PM. I want a text at 6:15 pm saying, "I'm stuck in traffic," not a frantically honking horn in my driveway at 7:05 and shouts of "Girl, hurry up. We're late." Yes, I have some ghetto gal pals in my bouquet of friends. But even ghetto gals know what time it is. That's foul off work and it's foul at work.
Here's the thing. We all hate getting excuses from others. Most of us don't relish having to give excuses to others. But what about making excuses to yourself? What promises have you broken to the most important person in your life. Quick! Hold your breath until you pass out. See how important you are to you? If you don't breathe, you die. If you don't thrive, you die emotionally and that may be even worse.
So why don't you exercise? No excuses. Why don't you take that class? No excuses. Why haven't you written that book? No excuses. Why don't you get some rest or have a website? Act like your life depends on it and the universe will open doors you haven't even knocked on. There is a way. Look for it harder. Ask yourself "How can I?" rather than telling yourself, "I can't."
You have choices. When you choose not to do what's in your best interest. You break a promise to yourself. What's your excuse?
www.drmOeanderson.com
Follow me on Twitter.com ~ @drmoeanderson
© 2010. Monica F. Anderson. All Rights Reserved.
For example, I'm carpooling to an event, Shabooboo is driving and we have tickets for a play at 7 PM. I want a text at 6:15 pm saying, "I'm stuck in traffic," not a frantically honking horn in my driveway at 7:05 and shouts of "Girl, hurry up. We're late." Yes, I have some ghetto gal pals in my bouquet of friends. But even ghetto gals know what time it is. That's foul off work and it's foul at work.
Here's the thing. We all hate getting excuses from others. Most of us don't relish having to give excuses to others. But what about making excuses to yourself? What promises have you broken to the most important person in your life. Quick! Hold your breath until you pass out. See how important you are to you? If you don't breathe, you die. If you don't thrive, you die emotionally and that may be even worse.
So why don't you exercise? No excuses. Why don't you take that class? No excuses. Why haven't you written that book? No excuses. Why don't you get some rest or have a website? Act like your life depends on it and the universe will open doors you haven't even knocked on. There is a way. Look for it harder. Ask yourself "How can I?" rather than telling yourself, "I can't."
You have choices. When you choose not to do what's in your best interest. You break a promise to yourself. What's your excuse?
www.drmOeanderson.com
Follow me on Twitter.com ~ @drmoeanderson
© 2010. Monica F. Anderson. All Rights Reserved.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Cougarism of The Day
The phrase "make it a great day" implies action is required on our part. In order to "have a great day," we must MAKE it a good one. What should you do or not do to make the most of your next 24 hours? Cougars live like hunters, not the hunted.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Cougarism of The Day
Friendly reminder: The grass is not greener on the other side. Flip it and see. The other side of grass contains dirt and worms. Stay on your side. Persist where you are and prevail where you go Cougars!
www.drmOeanderson.com
www.drmOeanderson.com
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Sustainable Living
Tasha is so gorgeous she can recycle men for money. Yep, it's true. She keeps dating the same guy over and over. Oh, he looks different. He has a different name and a different six-figure occupation. He showers her with expensive presents and exotic trips for the first 90 days of the relationship. Then, it's recycle day and poof he's on to the next pretty young thing. Tasha's a cute shorty so she deletes and repeats. Now, what happens when Tasha is the same age as her hip measurements? Her formal education consists of a Ph.D. in shopping at Nordstroms with someone else's credit card. That's not much of a retirement plan.
We all agree we can't keep polluting and wasting mother nature's abundant gifts the way we have since the dawn of the Industrial Age. But what about you? Are you properly using and recycling your natural gifts? Now, that you've learned to reduce your carbon footprint, how about the footprints on your body? How much non recyclable waste is on your shoulders? Your neck? Your back? Are you living a sustainable life?
For most of us, the term "sustainable" immediately brings to mind the environment and efforts to decrease our insatiable consumption of the earth's natural resources. The term is not only applied to ecology and agriculture, but also to design, business, and development. I suggest you apply the concept to your lifestyle.
Even though we are just emerging from the worst recession since the depression, Kim is still living from paycheck to paycheck. She works in a niche industry where demand is very high for her services so she never worries about layoffs. She has no health insurance, but she's young so she does the urgent care thing when her sinuses get too congested. All it takes is one rear end collision to lay Kim off and knock her out financially. A savings account would sustain her for a few months, but she'll have to find out the hard way.
Nina works 70 hours a week, never works out, and she likes her butter fried. Ellen drag races her muscle car on the highway. Both women could crash any day. Neither is living a sustainable life.
We all make mistakes--lots of 'em. Cougars are into personal growth. We are always trying to improve ourselves and make fewer mistakes. Every evening we review our day to see if our choices can be recycled into something profitable and positive. If not, we ATTEMPT to permanently dispose of the trash. Caution: it takes time to get the junk out of your life, off of your back. Sometimes you think it's not worth the trouble. Just remember, communities that conserve their resources are better places to live.
And Cougars who do likewise live longer...and better.
www.drmOeanderson.com
Follow me on Twitter.com ~ @drmoeanderson
© 2010. Monica F. Anderson. All Rights Reserved.
We all agree we can't keep polluting and wasting mother nature's abundant gifts the way we have since the dawn of the Industrial Age. But what about you? Are you properly using and recycling your natural gifts? Now, that you've learned to reduce your carbon footprint, how about the footprints on your body? How much non recyclable waste is on your shoulders? Your neck? Your back? Are you living a sustainable life?
For most of us, the term "sustainable" immediately brings to mind the environment and efforts to decrease our insatiable consumption of the earth's natural resources. The term is not only applied to ecology and agriculture, but also to design, business, and development. I suggest you apply the concept to your lifestyle.
Even though we are just emerging from the worst recession since the depression, Kim is still living from paycheck to paycheck. She works in a niche industry where demand is very high for her services so she never worries about layoffs. She has no health insurance, but she's young so she does the urgent care thing when her sinuses get too congested. All it takes is one rear end collision to lay Kim off and knock her out financially. A savings account would sustain her for a few months, but she'll have to find out the hard way.
Nina works 70 hours a week, never works out, and she likes her butter fried. Ellen drag races her muscle car on the highway. Both women could crash any day. Neither is living a sustainable life.
We all make mistakes--lots of 'em. Cougars are into personal growth. We are always trying to improve ourselves and make fewer mistakes. Every evening we review our day to see if our choices can be recycled into something profitable and positive. If not, we ATTEMPT to permanently dispose of the trash. Caution: it takes time to get the junk out of your life, off of your back. Sometimes you think it's not worth the trouble. Just remember, communities that conserve their resources are better places to live.
And Cougars who do likewise live longer...and better.
www.drmOeanderson.com
Follow me on Twitter.com ~ @drmoeanderson
© 2010. Monica F. Anderson. All Rights Reserved.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Cougarism of The Day
If you're holding an anchor and it's time to move forward, letting go is not the same as giving up.
www.drmOeanderson.com
Follow me on Twitter.com ~ @drmoeanderson
© 2010. Monica F. Anderson. All Rights Reserved.
www.drmOeanderson.com
Follow me on Twitter.com ~ @drmoeanderson
© 2010. Monica F. Anderson. All Rights Reserved.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Thou Shall Recognize A Real Man (A Poem)
If a man is intimidated by your roar or curriculum vitae, he'll ask questions like "What can I do for you that you can't do for yourself?" Don't even bother answering. Only the Wizard of Oz can give a man courage. A real man, young or old, rich or blue-collar will roar back with words like...
I know you have all this and do all that.
I'm proud of you.
But a little after five
During your post-war drive,
When the world stops choking because
You temporarily released your grip on its throat;
Let me be your safe place to rest.
Feeling strong or feeling weak.
Talking nonstop or--barely speak.
I understand
Even when I don't understand.
If the kids...job..BFF..let you down
I'm your rock that won't drown
In your tears.
I am and will be here.
Just a hug?
Okay. Just a hug today.
When you don't know where to turn or who to trust,
Turn to me first.
Even if you fall in your dreams,
I'll catch your imagination.
I'll enthusiastically celebrate your good news.
You watch the game with me and
I'll watch "The View" with you.
It's all good
As long as we proceeds do.
Your people will be my people.
Your children are my children.
Your cat is, uhm, a nice pet and
I'll feed him while you're gone.
This is what I offer you
That credit cards can't buy
Faith, hope, charity.
I'm trusting you and you CAN trust me.
When it's flight or fight and you need a soldier,
I'll make Harm surrender.
You don't have to change for me
I love every
Beautiful, passionate, unpredictable, accomplished, CONFIDENT
Inch-of-you, my Queen.
All the time.
And I'm strong enough
That you don't have to be weak.
© 2010. Monica F. Anderson. All Rights Reserved.
www.drmOeanderson.com
Follow me on Twitter! @drmoeanderson
I know you have all this and do all that.
I'm proud of you.
But a little after five
During your post-war drive,
When the world stops choking because
You temporarily released your grip on its throat;
Let me be your safe place to rest.
Feeling strong or feeling weak.
Talking nonstop or--barely speak.
I understand
Even when I don't understand.
If the kids...job..BFF..let you down
I'm your rock that won't drown
In your tears.
I am and will be here.
Just a hug?
Okay. Just a hug today.
When you don't know where to turn or who to trust,
Turn to me first.
Even if you fall in your dreams,
I'll catch your imagination.
I'll enthusiastically celebrate your good news.
You watch the game with me and
I'll watch "The View" with you.
It's all good
As long as we proceeds do.
Your people will be my people.
Your children are my children.
Your cat is, uhm, a nice pet and
I'll feed him while you're gone.
This is what I offer you
That credit cards can't buy
Faith, hope, charity.
I'm trusting you and you CAN trust me.
When it's flight or fight and you need a soldier,
I'll make Harm surrender.
You don't have to change for me
I love every
Beautiful, passionate, unpredictable, accomplished, CONFIDENT
Inch-of-you, my Queen.
All the time.
And I'm strong enough
That you don't have to be weak.
© 2010. Monica F. Anderson. All Rights Reserved.
www.drmOeanderson.com
Follow me on Twitter! @drmoeanderson
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Cougarism of The Day
The love of my life is not the one who admires my strength, but the one I can trust with my weakness.
© 2010. Monica F. Anderson. All Rights Reserved.
www.drmOeanderson.com
Follow me on Twitter @drmoeanderson
© 2010. Monica F. Anderson. All Rights Reserved.
www.drmOeanderson.com
Follow me on Twitter @drmoeanderson
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Designer Labels
Designer labels on clothing don't necessarily equal higher quality. Higher prices? Yes. Designer labels on people work the same way. They may be deceptive, as well.
People labels are derived from superficial observations like a surname(Windsor), an address (Fifth Avenue), or a degree from a prestigious school (Yale Law). The less elite among us may get an adjective forever stapled to our reputation like a scarlet letter because of a single action. Every girl who ever dug in her stilettos and yelled at injustice knows the label given strong willed women. Let's just say it rhymes with witch.
So what do you do with a label you didn't choose and can't delete? One, you can accept the label and the definition. Say, for example, be a proud gold-digger. Two, accept the label and define yourself. There is no three. You cannot stop others from calling you names. But--what you can stop is believing other people know your future because of your past.
Only you define your present and determine your future. Labels are about your past. The corrective lenses of time and experience should give us better vision and purpose each day. Cougars in the wild don't dwell on past mistakes or others' negative opinions. Neither should you. Mercilessly chase your dreams and let success define you.
© 2010. Monica F. Anderson. All Rights Reserved.
www.drmOeanderson.com
Follow me on Twitter @drmoeanderson
People labels are derived from superficial observations like a surname(Windsor), an address (Fifth Avenue), or a degree from a prestigious school (Yale Law). The less elite among us may get an adjective forever stapled to our reputation like a scarlet letter because of a single action. Every girl who ever dug in her stilettos and yelled at injustice knows the label given strong willed women. Let's just say it rhymes with witch.
So what do you do with a label you didn't choose and can't delete? One, you can accept the label and the definition. Say, for example, be a proud gold-digger. Two, accept the label and define yourself. There is no three. You cannot stop others from calling you names. But--what you can stop is believing other people know your future because of your past.
Only you define your present and determine your future. Labels are about your past. The corrective lenses of time and experience should give us better vision and purpose each day. Cougars in the wild don't dwell on past mistakes or others' negative opinions. Neither should you. Mercilessly chase your dreams and let success define you.
© 2010. Monica F. Anderson. All Rights Reserved.
www.drmOeanderson.com
Follow me on Twitter @drmoeanderson
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